All I can think about for the next 4 days...

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Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.
Aries Horoscope for week of May 5, 2005
The planning for a typical wedding lasts from 7 to 12 months. Getting ready for the birth of a child usually requires every minute from the time people find out they're pregnant until the delivery day. I foresee you experiencing an event in early 2006 that will resemble both of these happy yet challenging events. It might be something like the birth or dramatic renewal of a relationship. Or it could be the launch of a partnership that will ask everything of you, and give just as much. I suggest you start your preparations.
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I never really understood the term emotional roller coaster until Husband and I started trying to have a baby. Every little change in my body I analyze. I try to remain rational really I do. But it's so fucking hard to not get your hopes up every month. So instead of not writing anything, I figured I'd write about the only thing I'm thinking about at the moment. My head (and husband) say "We have plenty of time, don't get too upset if you're not pregnant this month." But my heart. Just. Breaks. Literally breaks every time. All I can think about is what did I do wrong? Is something wrong with me? Did we get the timing wrong? Bla bla bla. I can't imagine what it must be like for people who have been trying for years. I don't think I could handle that.
If Aunt Flo hasn't arrived by Sunday I'll be taking a pregnancy test. Yes Sunday is Mothers day. Yes, I'm going to try my hardest to wait until then. If I am pregnant the baby will be due Jan 9 2006. That's my dad's birthday. Is it too perfect for the universe to handle? I'll let you know in 4 days.