Dinner Conversation
Me: Wanna see my new stretch marks?
Him: Let me finish eating first.
Me: Excuse me?
Him: Well, how would you like it if I asked you to look at a boil on my butt during dinner.
Me: OK fucker, explain to me how those two things are even remotely the same?
Him: Chewing, chewing, chewing
Actually he's not far off. My lower abdomen is beginning to resemble Freddie Kreuger's face.
Him: Let me finish eating first.
Me: Excuse me?
Him: Well, how would you like it if I asked you to look at a boil on my butt during dinner.
Me: OK fucker, explain to me how those two things are even remotely the same?
Him: Chewing, chewing, chewing
Actually he's not far off. My lower abdomen is beginning to resemble Freddie Kreuger's face.
posted by Kathryn @ 6:41 PM
3 Comments:
At 7:12 PM,
NME said…
At least you have warning. I went through most of my pregnancy without seeing any stretch marks and thinking I'd get off scott free. And then all of the sudden in the last month I looked like a road map. Nature is cruel.
At 10:37 PM,
Missuz J said…
Mine have finally faded to white instead of red. While preg though, and shortly there after, I looked like a bloated human candy cane. Also, please slap your husband for me. Boils and stretch marks have about as much in common as farts and sneezes.
At 10:55 AM,
hazel said…
yeah, what missuz j said. he better stop with that before you get much pregnanter and more lethal.
with trent, I thought I had no stretch marks until my little niece picked up my shirt and asked what those red things were. they were on the underside of my belly so I didn't see them. later on, I had this weird skin allergy where my stretch marks stretched open and bled and scabbed over, which have made my "stretch" marks into more traditional scars. I tell you this so you can maybe say "at least they are just stretch marks."
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