Introspection
Why do I blog? Until last spring I didn't even know what the hell a blog was. One day a link to Dooce showed up on my Yahoo homepage. I have no idea how it got there, but I clicked and I was hooked. I think I devoured her entire archives in two weeks. I laughed out loud. I cried out loud. I began to care about what was happening each new day. I was inspired.
My mom had just moved, and we weren't talking several times a day like we had been. I wanted a way to express my goings on and how I felt about said goings on in a nice easy to read package. For her, and for other family members who I rarely get to see but wanted to get to know. Also, everyone knew we were trying to get pregnant and it was easier for me to chronicle that process online where people could check back instead of constantly being asked if we had been successful yet. After a few months I began to realize that it was becoming something different for me. Writing about things helps me work through them. And this is a time in my life I never, never want to lose touch with. I am a really happy girl!
I think about my parents and wonder if they had been able to get in touch with the people they had been when they were happy together, if that would have made a difference in their marriage. When Ellis asks what went on the year he was born, if he ever wonders what we looked like when we were young, I want to be able to come to these entries and show him exactly what we were like. Not tell him in some vague terms what I remember myself to have been like once. I wish I had the same sort of record from my grandparents and parents.
At my core, I think I am a communicator. I like sharing things about me and my life. I like the thought that through sharing my life, other people might relate to me. I like that I am honing a writing skill that I have long neglected.
But it's no longer just about those things.
We live in a neighborhood that is very quiet. The kids are older (well, elementary and jr. high age) and we are the only couple without kids (who have already popped out). We're by far the youngest people around here. I don't really fit in with the Bunko crowd, and I'm too old and settled to be interesting to the college kids. So blogging gives me a way to connect with other women in a way that would take months to achieve in the real world. It's a trade off for sure. In many ways we know each other very well and in many ways we're complete strangers. But I always know that if I may need some support I can count on my blog friends.
On another topic altogether. Did you notice the counter at the top of the page? We're starting the 100 day countdown people. In the last week I've become noticeably more uncomfortable. I know it's only going to get worse from here. But! Only 99 more days. I feel I should mention also (since I've bitched so much) that the universe must have heard my desperate cry because it's wonderfully chilly here today (mid 60s). No more 90-100 degree days in sight. It's going to be a good last trimester.
My mom had just moved, and we weren't talking several times a day like we had been. I wanted a way to express my goings on and how I felt about said goings on in a nice easy to read package. For her, and for other family members who I rarely get to see but wanted to get to know. Also, everyone knew we were trying to get pregnant and it was easier for me to chronicle that process online where people could check back instead of constantly being asked if we had been successful yet. After a few months I began to realize that it was becoming something different for me. Writing about things helps me work through them. And this is a time in my life I never, never want to lose touch with. I am a really happy girl!
I think about my parents and wonder if they had been able to get in touch with the people they had been when they were happy together, if that would have made a difference in their marriage. When Ellis asks what went on the year he was born, if he ever wonders what we looked like when we were young, I want to be able to come to these entries and show him exactly what we were like. Not tell him in some vague terms what I remember myself to have been like once. I wish I had the same sort of record from my grandparents and parents.
At my core, I think I am a communicator. I like sharing things about me and my life. I like the thought that through sharing my life, other people might relate to me. I like that I am honing a writing skill that I have long neglected.
But it's no longer just about those things.
We live in a neighborhood that is very quiet. The kids are older (well, elementary and jr. high age) and we are the only couple without kids (who have already popped out). We're by far the youngest people around here. I don't really fit in with the Bunko crowd, and I'm too old and settled to be interesting to the college kids. So blogging gives me a way to connect with other women in a way that would take months to achieve in the real world. It's a trade off for sure. In many ways we know each other very well and in many ways we're complete strangers. But I always know that if I may need some support I can count on my blog friends.
On another topic altogether. Did you notice the counter at the top of the page? We're starting the 100 day countdown people. In the last week I've become noticeably more uncomfortable. I know it's only going to get worse from here. But! Only 99 more days. I feel I should mention also (since I've bitched so much) that the universe must have heard my desperate cry because it's wonderfully chilly here today (mid 60s). No more 90-100 degree days in sight. It's going to be a good last trimester.
posted by Kathryn @ 5:16 PM
1 Comments:
At 7:32 AM,
NME said…
100 day countdown! Amazing! You are SO close.
I love what you said about Ellis knowing who you are now. I think that is monumentally important. I often wonder what my parents were like when I was a baby.
I'm so glad that you blog and that we have gotten to know you and support you when you need it. And I am so looking forward to hearing all about Ellis.
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