Two Years And Counting

When Kent and I started dating we were in a party phase. I had played by the rules my entire life and I was sick of it. I was ready to let loose, be crazy, have some freakin fun already and see if it suited me. He was still in his I'm divorced and now I'm going to show everyone how OK I am with that by going out all the time phase. (He had been divorced for several years already when we met.) We were well suited; for the short term. Neither of us was thinking about anything more than next week. That didn't last long. I think I've said before here that I knew I wanted to marry Kent within a couple of months of dating him. At that time, he felt the same way. For about a week. Then the fear crept in. Thus began a 4 year long dance between the fear and our relationship.

I could go on for days about how this push and pull manifested itself in our relationship. It wasn't something we talked about very often, but it was there. In every fight, in every happy moment, it was there. Sometimes it was dealt with head on. Those were the scary, horrid, no solution to our problem talks we both hated. I wanted to get married, he didn't ever again. Where do you go from there? We always ended those talks with the feeling that above anything else, we didn't want to be apart from each other. I can't explain why we stuck it out really. I just had faith in my heart and in my gut. I knew what an amazing man he was and knew that whatever was meant to happen would happen as long as we were honest with ourselves and each other.

I say all of this by way of explaining what a huge thing it was for him to marry me two years ago today. When he slipped that ring on my finger, he was a changed man and I was a changed woman. All of the fear that had hung over us for so long really truly disappeared that night on the beach. In fact, Kent told me later that he was excruciatingly nervous until the moment that he saw me. At that moment he felt a calm and a peace come over him. That night at sunset we promised to love each other, to live together, to grow old and change together, and to each do our damndest to keep our relationship alive with possibilities. I had no idea it would be so easy.


I didn't expected Kent to change when I married him. But honestly as my husband he has surpassed even my highest hopes. He was always loving and generous and kind but now he is even more so. I wrote down in my journal things that I never want to forget from that day:
1. Kent telling me I look "stunning"
2. The feeling of peace and security we both felt after the ceremony
3. Kent spread pink rose petals on the bed for our wedding night
4. The incredible red moon over the ocean
The rose petals are particularly significant to me. Our wedding was very low key. I went barefoot for God sakes. I didn't choose a bouquet months in advance because they're just flowers and I didn't even really think about the bouquet because I didn't know what I would be drawn to on that day anyway. So on the day of the wedding my mom and I went to the store and chose some pink roses. The same pink roses that Kent chose to spread on our bed when he went to the same store within the same hour we had been there. We hadn't seen or spoken to each other all day. That's pretty symbolic of how our marriage has gone since that day.


Baby, I am so incredibly lucky to have you as my husband. You keep me on my toes. You listen to my needs. You take into account my feelings. You make time for me when I need it. You make me caramel popcorn. You put up with me when I get crazy. You watch foreign movies. You have an open mind. You take my frantic tech support calls even when you're busy at work. You sacrificed being with me on our first anniversary so that you could participate in my friend's wedding. You watch public television while I sleep with my head in your lap. You tell me and show me you love me every single day. You're creative. You are everything I ever wanted and more.


I know that we probably won't always have it this easy. Who knows what our future holds. But Kent, there's no one I'd rather be on this ride with. I love you baby. Happy Anniversary two years and counting.