A Shrimpy Update
Today I had an appointment to get some sort of genetic testing done. I thought it was the triple screen but apparently it takes the place of that test and can be done earlier. The Dr. who does this (ha! Dr. Who!) offices literally right next door to my regular doc. And I'm not sure why reg doc doesn't do this test, but he doesn't so I had to fill out another mound of paperwork weeee! I was under the impression that this was a simple blood test which I thought I was brave enough to handle on my own so I told Husband not to bother coming along. That was a mistake.
After filling out the paper work I was taken into an office to meet with a genetic counselor who explained what the test was looking for. This one checks for two things, Down Syndrome, and another chromosomal abnormality which only 10% of the babies survive for more than a year. Great. Good to hear. Husband and I can handle Down Syndrome, Autism, Mental Retardation, anything. We're not going to love this baby any less. Although I'd be lying if I said there wouldn't have to be some real adjustments made to our dreams for the little one. And probably a period of mourning for what might have been. But the thought of only getting to see our baby grow for a year is just unfathomable. The thought of our baby suffering physically, pains me so deeply. Going into today I was already worried because I've been sick, and it's been a couple of weeks since I saw that little heartbeat and I always get paranoid that they're not going to see one at the next visit. Then add to that the possibility of our baby suffering for the only year she's* on this Earth and lets just say I REALLY could have used my husbands shoulder to lean on.
It wasn't all terrible though. Part of the test is a sonogram (another reason Husband should have been there damn it) to measure the amount of fluid around the shrimps spine. And ladies and gentlemen for the first time I did not have to have a vaginal sonogram! Thank God, I've been waiting for this day! And whatever machine they have at this office is so sensitive that I didn't even have to have a full bladder. As the nurse rubbed the wand across my belly I mentioned to her my fear of the baby not having a heartbeat so she pushed a button and ba boom ba boom ba boom, there it was. For the first time I was able to hear it and I'm sick to death that Husband wasn't there too because it was just amazing. Shrimp was being quite uncooperative and refusing to get into the right position for them to measure her fluid so I got a nice long look. And just like her mom, shrimp is trying to grow up too fast. They say she's measuring 14 weeks already.
It's crazy, every single time I see the baby everything in this world snaps into perspective. There are times in between visits when I feel overwhelmed about work or money and I wonder how we're going to raise a child when we still feel like kids ourselves a lot of the time. But as soon as I get a glimpse of her I have absolutely zero doubts.
My tummy is starting to have a little bump to it. Not enough for strangers to know I'm pregnant but enough that Husband and I can tell. I'm really excited about that. Maybe the bigger I get the more I'll be reminded that we can handle what's coming. Here's hoping.
*We don't know the gender yet but Husband swears it's a girl. I think it's a boy but really I just say that in case it is a boy and I can say I was right, ha ha.
After filling out the paper work I was taken into an office to meet with a genetic counselor who explained what the test was looking for. This one checks for two things, Down Syndrome, and another chromosomal abnormality which only 10% of the babies survive for more than a year. Great. Good to hear. Husband and I can handle Down Syndrome, Autism, Mental Retardation, anything. We're not going to love this baby any less. Although I'd be lying if I said there wouldn't have to be some real adjustments made to our dreams for the little one. And probably a period of mourning for what might have been. But the thought of only getting to see our baby grow for a year is just unfathomable. The thought of our baby suffering physically, pains me so deeply. Going into today I was already worried because I've been sick, and it's been a couple of weeks since I saw that little heartbeat and I always get paranoid that they're not going to see one at the next visit. Then add to that the possibility of our baby suffering for the only year she's* on this Earth and lets just say I REALLY could have used my husbands shoulder to lean on.
It wasn't all terrible though. Part of the test is a sonogram (another reason Husband should have been there damn it) to measure the amount of fluid around the shrimps spine. And ladies and gentlemen for the first time I did not have to have a vaginal sonogram! Thank God, I've been waiting for this day! And whatever machine they have at this office is so sensitive that I didn't even have to have a full bladder. As the nurse rubbed the wand across my belly I mentioned to her my fear of the baby not having a heartbeat so she pushed a button and ba boom ba boom ba boom, there it was. For the first time I was able to hear it and I'm sick to death that Husband wasn't there too because it was just amazing. Shrimp was being quite uncooperative and refusing to get into the right position for them to measure her fluid so I got a nice long look. And just like her mom, shrimp is trying to grow up too fast. They say she's measuring 14 weeks already.
It's crazy, every single time I see the baby everything in this world snaps into perspective. There are times in between visits when I feel overwhelmed about work or money and I wonder how we're going to raise a child when we still feel like kids ourselves a lot of the time. But as soon as I get a glimpse of her I have absolutely zero doubts.
My tummy is starting to have a little bump to it. Not enough for strangers to know I'm pregnant but enough that Husband and I can tell. I'm really excited about that. Maybe the bigger I get the more I'll be reminded that we can handle what's coming. Here's hoping.
*We don't know the gender yet but Husband swears it's a girl. I think it's a boy but really I just say that in case it is a boy and I can say I was right, ha ha.
posted by Kathryn @ 3:55 PM
2 Comments:
At 7:55 AM,
NME said…
I never feel ready for whats coming with Noah. He was two weeks early but even if he came on schedule I wouldn't have been ready. Every day is a new challenge with a new milestone on the horizon - and each next step seems unfathomable. What are we going to do when he can crawl? Walk? Talk? Oh GOD. But you figure it out as you go along, make it through and enjoy it. It is the most wonderful set of challenges and discovery that you'll ever encounter. At least until 8 months - then I don't really know what happens. Except that I'm not ready for it.
At 8:53 AM,
hazel said…
the genetic testing is hard (just ask nicole - NME) but I suppose the silver lining is that you do think about what you might do if put in a situation other than the one you're dreaming of.
I'll tell you what I told nicole. if I did it at 18 and not having even a faint clue of what the hell I was doing, I am SURE that you guys can do it. no worries. take it as it comes and you'll be fine.
Post a Comment
<< Home