Nothing is ever gone from the Internet.

Thoughts for 2016:

I have not worked for a paycheck (except for a 6 month stint) since 2006. I worry that I won't find a job when I need one. I worry that I should be looking for a job now. I worry that my kids won't handle it well if I do get one. I worry about what kind of job I should have. I worry that I won't ever work again. 

I want to create, or be a  part of creating some kind of art for a living. With it, I want to help heal the heart of humanity. For the first time in 10 years I have a fuzzy, but pretty solid (if lofty) idea of what I want to be doing in 5 years time, and that feels like an important first step. It's good to be a little less adrift in that area.

I am aging much faster now, and I am getting a good crop of grey hair. It's fascinating and interesting having to get to know myself in the mirror again every little while. Kind of reminiscent of puberty. Similarly, now and again I have a pang of panic about what it means for my life to be going through these physical changes. 

On the more concrete side of things, this year I want to complete another baby triathlon, and finish it stronger than the last one I did. I want to continue to put my design stamp on our house (rip up carpet, paint in the basement). I want to get out in the snow some. Downhill skiing maybe? Or snowshoeing? I want to meet new people and be more social. I feel like 2015 was a hermit year and that wasn't always great for my emotional state. I want to see more movies and go on more dates. I want to travel. 

On the less concrete side of things, this year I want to feel energetic more often that sluggish. Positive more often than negative. Happy more often than blue. I sometimes miss that youthful feeling of having your whole life in front of you and the excitement of knowing that anything could come of it. It's a silly thing to NOT feel it when one is in their 30's and I want to remind myself that those things are still true. 

The future is rich with opportunity and promise just ready to be realized. Bring it 2016. Bring it.