2 Weeks

About this time my dad would say something like "Well I was just checking to make sure you're still alive"

First, some cuteness:

Wow, these baby creatures are really time consuming. I barely answer my phone these days. Right now the baby is sitting beside me in his stroller entertaining himself with his usual after meal hic-ups. He holds his pacifier in his mouth with both hands so it doesn't fall mid hic-up. It's pretty funny. He's started getting very gassy after feedings and hard to burp. I never realized how difficult it would be to see him cry because he's uncomfortable. I just want to make it better, like, right then and it's really hard that I can't. He's in his stroller because I'm not allowed to lift anything heavier than him for another month. So he just gets wheeled from room to room whenever I'm home by myself. Kent had to go back to work yesterday. For all the bitching I did about maternity leave I should have realized how hard it was going to be for him. He only got a week off to spend with us which is just abominable.

Last weekend we took Ellis on his first outing. Once we finally got out of the house it was a lot of fun showing him off. I almost didn't leave at all because my vainty went into overdrive. My body looks pretty much like I'd imagined it would. I still look about 4 months gone. I wasn't expecting the belly to sag quite so much though. And I certainly was not expecting it to be so difficult to deal with. I thought I would be able to give myself a break about it and that has not happened. I feel disgusting most of the time. I've taken to just not thinking about it.

That sounds a lot more depressed than I actually am, but I've got to go quiet the screaming little man. Sorry for the disjointed post. I'll put some more linear thoughts down when I have more quiet time.

Operation Mommy Initiation: Complete

Just now I leaned in to give my boy a kiss on his sweet little mouth and he projectile vomited for the first time. It was in my mouth, it was on my mouth, it was all over everything. I think he was laughing on the inside.

Wherein My Brain Is Mush

I am so in love with my baby. The staples came out yesterday making it possible for me to move faster than a snail. I feel SO MUCH BETTER now. Ellis's GodMum was here yesterday to see him as well. Ellis loved her. I've been losing hours just staring at him. He changes every day.

Doing Dad's favorite thing

GodMum extrordinaire

The mullet

Sunbathing his jaundice away

About to sneeze

6 Days Old

It's a whole new world.

First, Ellis: He is such an easy baby so far. We got the hang of nursing after about 4 days. It's rare that he doesn't latch on the first try. He hasn't cried except when he was either hungry or had a dirty diaper. He's up twice in the night just long enough to eat then right back to sleep. Last night I discovered that if I sing to him he calms down right away. He was holding his little head up for a few seconds the same day he was born. My favorite thing is the look of bliss on his face when he latches on to a pacifier or my breast. He crinkles his little forehead up like he has found heaven. When he sneezes he brings his fists up to his face like he's trying to cover his mouth. He stretches when he wakes up with his arms all the way over his head exactly like his dad. There are a million other little faces and noises that make my heart melt every time I see or hear them. In all my daydreams about what he would look like I never pictured his hair the way it is. He's baldy on top and long in the back. Our son was born with a mullet. I guess that's what we get for all those years of making fun of mullets.

Now me:
I'm still in pain but it gets better every day. I get my staples out tomorrow and I'm hoping that helps alleviate most of the pain. I still can't put on my own pants or bend over very far. It takes me four times as long to do everything including get out of bed to comfort the baby in the night. I have a hard time asking for help so it's frustrating me that I'm forced to. I haven't been able to change any diapers on my own because I get about halfway through and have to sit down. Kent has been doing the majority of the night time stuff. All of this has led to a few mini breakdowns. It's hard feeling like I can't adequately take care of my son because of a surgery I didn't want. Nature knows what she's doing though. The minute I look at him I forget about anything else except how in love with him I am. This morning during my first unsupervised shower I even thought that I might consider doing it all again.

Here are some of my favorite pictures so far. He's one laid back little man.

I Love Surprises

There was a lovely one waiting at my doorstep and brought to the hospital by CanaMa. If I could I would open mouth kiss you all for being so thoughtful. Big E Smalls is swaddled in his fleece as I type. Thanks so much Patrice et all!

I've got a few more pics up on Flickr all from yesterday before our camera went dead. Go here for the slideshow. I'll post more as I have the energy. The surgery was cake. I was very, very nervous until they numbed me then I was totally fine. I'm so glad we decided to go with the c-section because the cord was tightly wrapped around his neck and I would have had to have an emergency one anyway. Yesterday after surgery was great too. Today has sucked my ass. I am in so much pain. When they took my wound dressing off today a layer of skin came with it. Why does no one talk about how painful this is? I can barely walk and my husband has to help me use the bathroom. On the bright side I'm now IV free so Big E can eat easier on both sides. He smells so amazing. His breath is so sweet. When he's not in my arms they feel empty. He looks so much like Kent it's crazy. Even their hairlines are the same. Even though I couldn't feed him right away (too big, low blood sugar, bla bla, out of it), we are both learning quickly and he's becoming an old pro. The only issue we're having is that it seems to put him to sleep even if we stimulate him while he's nursing. He has the most beautiful grey eyes I hope they don't change to brown. You can't really tell in the pictures but his hair is red just like his dad.

The boy is sleeping now, we just finished nursing and I am exhausted. So I'm going to try to get some sleep before he wakes up. Thank you all so much for the swaddler. You guys are amazing.

12:30 a.m. and biggiE is cradled in mom's arms sleeping

I can't sleep so I thought I would post at least one pic using Kat's blog. She will post loads more soon...

click to seE

ok...I couldn't stop at just one.

morE

this is one happy littlE



goodnight. Kat will return tomorrow.

-pops

Ellis is HERE!

Ellis arrived at 8:03 a.m. January 11, 2006 weighing in at 9 pounds 1 ounce and 21 inches. His APGAR score was a nearly perfect 9.9! Mom, Dad and baby Ellis are doing great! More to come...stay tuned.

This Is It

Our last picture as a child-less couple. Only a few hours left. I have to be up around 4:30 in the morning to get picture ready (one of the benefits of a c-section). I seriously doubt I'll be able to sleep. Thanks for all your well wishes. I feel like I've taken this journey with all of you and am richer for it. The next post you read will be all about Ellis!!

2 - Updated With Pictures

Phew! What a lovely weekend. Kent ended up doing all the grocery shopping for me and we just left some of the cleaning undone. Of course it was fine. My cousin's 7 year old daughter is so much fun to be around I can't even describe how delightful she is. This visit she was especially excited to hang out with "Uncle" Kent. They had a blast together. They conspired to get his gift to the shower without me knowing. She did a great job, and said exactly what she was supposed to when it was put in front of me.

The shower was just perfect. Drew and I didn't get to spend a lot of one on one time together but it was still great to see her and everyone else for that matter. I'll post pictures as soon as I weed out all the ones where my double chin is bigger than the rest of my head.

Yesterday CanaMa, Kent and I made a day of rounding up any stuff we still needed and assembling it. It took all day and night but I'm feeling very prepared now. CanaMa has been here only a couple of days and already my house is beyond organized.

The c-section is scheduled for 7:30 Wed morning. The three of us (CanaMa, Kent and I) all met with the doctor this morning to get all of my questions answered. Apparently I have a rather narrow pelvis and a large headed child. I'd always assumed that I had a wide pelvis because that's a wide area on my body. It's interesting to know that's not the case (a.k.a. I have no excuse for that wideness). I'm more excited than scared now. I'll be in the hospital for 4 days so I'm training CanaMa to post for me during that time. Hopefully she'll have it down and there will be lots of pictures.

I can't believe it's almost here.


The Partay


My step sister and step mother

Annie (Dee Dee's Daughter), Dee Dee (my cousin), Sally (my aunt), CanaMa and Me


My Girls


Annie and Me


CanaMa, Me, Drew, Pam (Drews mom in case it wasn't obvious)


CanaMa, Kathryn (CanaMa's BFF), and Me


Me acting like I know what I'm talking about

5?

I'm feeling much better about the c-section today. Thanks in no small part to all of your very wise, very rational words. Once again my lovely internet friends have talked me down to earth. Thank you!! They're supposed to call me this afternoon with the new date. I, for one, am hoping it's Monday.

It was a year ago today that the gorgeous Gwen had her equally as gorgeous daughter Camaryn. Happy birthday little one! Have a great party this weekend.

Mutherfucker

Based on the size of the baby my doctor has just recommended scheduling a c-section. How can we go against what the doctor feels is the safest thing? I would never forgive myself if I went ahead and tried to deliver vaginally only to put the baby in distress. Since he's very large there's more of a chance of that and I never want him to be in any distress. Not ever. So this is the best thing. My longest stay in a hospital was when I was born. I've never even had an IV, and now I have to have major surgery. I now have an entirely new list of concerns that I hadn't even entertained until today. A longer hospital stay, a scary scar, longer pain, I won't get to hold the "shrimp" right away, breast feeding could be compromised, oh and I could die from complications. I won't ever know what it's like to give birth naturally since it's such a risk to try after a c-section. I'm really scared. At least with a vaginal delivery I would have felt like I had some control over the situation.

6

I've always pictured my last few days gestation as being very low key, peaceful, quiet days of doing nothing for the last time in the foreseeable future. I suppose I should have known better. It's not that my days are action packed necessarily. It's just that even walking to the bathroom (something that happens 4,568 times a day) takes so much effort that the though of actually doing anything productive just makes me feel like I need a nap. It seems like there is a lot going on in the Tschoepe household. Bella dog is in heat which makes her grumpy and makes her 10 times more high maintenance and she's still got one week to go. Tucker cat had his annual teeth pulling appointment and had 6 teeth extracted so he's hurting and needy and requires meds for a week. (He has a rare cat condition in which tarter build up on his teeth causes severe reactions in his gums and really eats away at his tooth enamel. It's very painful, and he can not go without a cleaning or he starves himself.) I was going to do something for myself this week and have my hair died back to boring brown until I got the bill from said teeth cleaning and extraction. The $411 dollars first made me cry and then made me look forward to the day when our cat is completely toothless and no longer requires a cleaning. I know, I'm evil. But we're a one income family now how the hell are we supposed to afford that? My friend Drew and I are being showered together on Saturday. I'm very much looking forward to it. However my mom, my fav cousin and her daughter and mother will all be staying with us for the weekend which means I have to get the house clean enough to be presentable. I also have to go get groceries which feels like a Herculean task in itself. I keep debating whether I should put a dent in our pocketbook by going to the regular grocery store thereby saving my body and sanity; or put a dent in my body and sanity by going to Super Wal Mart from hell and saving a couple of bucks. It's quite a toss up. My mom is actually staying for a month or so to help us with the not-so-little one. We are so lucky to have her help while we get the hang of things. We're both really looking forward to having her here. Maybe I could get her to help me clean.

7

I just got back from my first cervical check. Boy that's fun. I'm sort of starting to dilate but this morning there is nothing more than a dimple where a gaping hole should be. Am I over sharing? After checking me the doc decided to send me over to the perinatal guys next door for the extra fancy sonogram because he was concerned that the shrimp isn't so shrimpy. He said he just wants to make sure everything will be safe. Ya'll my baby is 9 and 1/2 pounds already. That means a 10 pounder by delivery time. (There is a one pound margin of error so at the very least he's a 9 pounder and possibly 11.) The good news is that he's a perfectly healthy large baby boy. It's officially my mothers fault. The doctor said that the "cause" of the hugeness is genetics. Epidural here I come.

8

Nothing yet guys. I am planning on posting before we leave for the hospital, either on the 10th or before if this baby decides to get his act together and come out to play. I can't believe its one week until I go in for the pre-inducement "ripening", and 8 days until one way or another I finally get to hold the shrimp. I was watching a baby story last week and this woman gave birth to a 10 pound baby. That kid looked HUGE. He was her third and she just pushed him right out like it was nothing. It took like 4 pushes with no drugs. So when I think about what it will be like I picture that scene. Piece of cake (ha!). We ran into our neighbors last night and got the usual questions about when the baby is due, and how I'm sleeping, and have I had any contractions. Why does everyone I see feel the need to tell me how badly it's going to hurt? I think I've had some contractions here and there but I haven't experienced anything super painful so now I'm second guessing myself. Why don't any of the books do an adequate job describing what they will feel like? What were they like for you guys (besides terribly, horribly, unbearably painful of course)?

Sparkling Grape Juice Anyone?

2005 has flown past my head with me hardly glancing up. It's been the year of the baby. Last NYE Kent and I made a resolution to get pregnant in 2005 and looky there we kept one! I discovered blogging and met some lovely lady bloggers. I joined the YMCA and actually went a lot until the shrimp zapped every last bit of extra energy. My mom moved one zillion miles away and I learned to cope with it. I quit my job (holy shit I don't get any more paychecks). I feel a little bit like I've been hibernating in the womb along with Ellis for the last 9 1/2 months. I took the last week off of work (yes my last week working was vacation) and my days are starting to run together. The only thing that distinguished last night from the night before that and the night before that is that we bought sparkling grape juice with which to toast at midnight. Alas we were already in bed at midnight and managed to remember it about 12:05. Incadentally NYE is also our dating anniversary so Happy 6 Years Together baby!

Today we begin our own little countdown. Everyone say it with me now....10!