CanaMa and Me

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Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Vancouver Sunset from CanaMa's Bedroom Window

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Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Ellis Street

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Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

We made it! The stress has begun to melt away in the beautiful sunshine and nice cool weather. I'll probably add more pictures daily but won't write a whole bunch. All of our family was safe and sound and the storm missed Dallas completely. Which is a relief for me, but only until I think of all the people who weren't so lucky. Thank you guys for your concern, and for reading my highly un-entertaining stress induced ramblings. Ya'll are the best.

Helpless Hits Home

I have a few minutes to post today because my cousin who left Houston at 4:30 yesterday afternoon, is still only 60 miles outside of Houston. Every highway out of town is a parking lot. She hasn't slept, or eaten, she's down to 1/2 a tank of gas and the last 6 gas stations she stopped at were completely out. She's at her wits end, and I don't blame her. She's doing her best to hold it together for her 6 year old. The Weather Channel people were saying yesterday evening that everyone had left in plenty of time, that they had never seen an evacuation so early before. Now I'm beginning to wonder if she'll have to ride out the storm in her car. (Update, she has found a place to stay between here and there, so if she can't find gas, at least she'll have shelter)

Kent's family is still all in Corpus even though they have issued mandatory evacuations there too. His brother in law is a nurse so he will have to stay behind unless by some miracle they let him leave. He will be working at the hospital about 50 yards from the water. Kent's brother is a city worker, so he has to stay behind as well, but at least his house is a few miles inland. Kent's niece who lives in Houston was scheduled to be induced on Saturday, but instead is driving to Austin with her medical records and hoping she doesn't go into labor on the way. His sister decided to drive south out of the hurricanes current path and hope it doesn't make a sudden turn. My brother who lives in Austin (3 hours from here) said everyone there is stocking up on water and supplies, just in case.

I have lived in Dallas my entire life and know nothing about hurricanes or hurricane preparedness. (Tornadoes I can handle, water? not so much.) We're hearing that it's a possibility that when the storm reaches us it could still be as strong as a category 2. We are 300 miles away from Galveston. I can't even comprehend this. It would be like an entire states worth of damage, and Texas is BIG.

Right now we're still planning to go to Vancouver. What happens with the storm between now and when it hits is anybodies guess. It could turn and miss our area completely. Most likely by the time it gets here it will just be like a bad thunderstorm. There is nothing we can do for our family except open our house to them. I've got really high anxiety about leaving the dogs in a potentially bad storm, but there will be people here to take care of them if anything disastrous happens. I'm back and forth though. If anything were to happen to any of our animals while we were gone I don't think I could ever forgive myself. See what I mean? Panic is setting in.

Chaos

This is the post where I was going to write something clever about how we're going to Canada on Friday to see CanaMa. This is the post where I was going to write something penitent about how we've never been away from our dauggers for more than one night and how we're both really kind of freaking out about being away from them for 10 days.

This is the post where I was going to say something interesting about how I just had to drink that gross orange thing and have blood drawn for the Gestiational Diabetes test. And tell you (yes I know I just started a sentence with the word and, bite me) about how the shrimpy likes to swim away from the doppler every time cause he thinks it's cute.

But, this is the week when Rita arrives and my favorite cousin and her daughter (also my favorite) are being forced to evacuate along with the rest of my family down there. And this is the week Kent's good friend with a sick 7 month old is also evacuating. And this is the week when I now must ready the house with clean floors and supplies, and fresh sheets, and toilets that flush for our "evacuees". This is also the week when I have to do double work to make up for being gone next week, and get packed, and get the dogs and cats prepared to be without us. And so on, and so on, and so on.

So, forgive the spelling and the boring post. Hopefully I'll be able to post while we're in Vancouver (we leave Friday). If not, I hope everyone has a fabulous week next week. I'll "see" ya'll on the 2nd.

Happy Blogging!!

The Pout

Look at the face I get when I make her come inside instead of sitting in the heat while she splashes around on the top step of the pool. It's tough to be the Bella dog.

Death Becomes Her

You are the Death card. Death is a stage in the
cycle of life. Without death, there would be no
room for new things to grow. When you receive
the Death card in a tarot reading, fear not;
Death is only an indication that transformation
is about to occur. Death allows us all to
evolve by removing that which is no longer
needed. The end of one cycle makes way for a
new one. Old behaviours and patterns which have
tied us down are released. Death cleans house
so that we don't have needless drains on our
energy. In Death's ruthless destruction there
lies compassion. Image from: Danielle Sylvie
Taylor
http://members.limitless.org/~morpheum/gallery.html


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What To Expect When You're An Idiot

Week 24: Makeup 101
Keep it simple is the golden rule for any pregnancy makeup routine. (This is not the time to channel your inner Cher.) Right now, your new best friends are a good concealer to camouflage blotchy skin and dark circles, and a natural bronzer or pinkish blush to give you a bit of a glow (no need to tell anyone that your glow is coming from cosmetics and not from within). Besides, it's the best time to get used to a more natural look — since your makeup application time will be seriously compromised once your baby begins his or her more demanding life on the outside. One more beauty boost: Switch to a light, fresh scent, such as citrus, since you may be extra-sensitive to fragrance right now.

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Now I know why I signed up for your weekly (ha! daily) newsletter! That is so helpful. I feel so much more prepared to care for a tiny helpless human being now. Maybe when he cries I'll just spray him with all that left over citrus perfume.

Saturday Morning Bliss

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Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

It gets crowded in there.

When Will We Catch A Break?

The high is 101 today. Fall starts next week and the lowest temperature predicted is fucking 97. With no end in sight.

Shrimp Week #23 - It's all downhill from here

The end of this week is an important milestone: Your one-pounder would have a good chance of survival if born now--about 85 percent if given the right care. His body is well proportioned, although lacking in body fat, and the blood vessels in his lungs are developing to prepare for breathing. About 50 percent of "early preemies" experience complications ranging from eye problems to intracranial hemorrhage (spontaneous bleeding in the brain); the rate drops steadily from the 24th week onward.

The Cycle

This week I've been driving around with no window in the passenger side of my Jeep. It's been that way since February actually. Since Kent and I both have the same model we just switched doors so I would have the window. This week though, my door was back and it was a constant reminder of why there is no window.

When Kent and I lived in the loft we moved within the building several times. The last of which we ended up across the hall from a couple who introduced themselves right away and invited us to dinner. They were very nice and Kent seemed to especially get along with the male half of them, Jason. After the first dinner Jason started knocking on our door just about every night wanting to hang out. Sometimes Julie would come, sometimes not. It was fun at first to hang out and get to know them. We usually ended up drinking and playing dominoes or poker. I didn't ever feel completely comfortable around Jason, even though as far as I could see there was no good reason not to. After about 2 weeks of non-stop Jason hanging out until midnight, I was getting frustrated. Even the most socially inept person knows that there are limits to how often friends get together. Once I came home in the middle of the day to meet the delivery guy who was bringing our couch. As soon as the delivery guy left, there was Jason knocking on the door wondering what was going on and being overly insistent about helping me un-box the new arrival. I was surprised to see him home in the middle of the day when he had a job working with at risk kids. I have never wanted to get out of somewhere faster, although again, I couldn't put my finger on just why I was so uncomfortable.

As the weeks wore on Kent and I learned that if we wanted time alone we couldn't answer our door. When I complimented Julie on an outfit I noticed she always said Oh Jason got it for me. Then there was the story or him quitting his job because he was underappreciated. Then there was no looking for a job, living off of Julie's salary alone, driving her car all day. Once when we were going out he actually got angry when I mentioned that Julie should probably wear what she wanted instead of the outfit that he was telling her to put on. She eventually confided in me that there had been some domestic violence issues in their past and that he was getting court ordered counseling for anger management. In fact the court order stemmed from a very bad time when she stayed with her parents to heal for a few months.

I finally told Kent how uncomfortable the guy made me, and that it was scary how controlling he seemed to be over Julie. But Jason was also very charismatic and fun to hang around with and it was fun having friends right across the hall. It was easy to overlook those few incidences. Eventually though, even Kent's nerves seemed to wear at the sound of knocking at our door every night right after we walked in. We desperately needed some distance and we wanted to start a family soon so we bought a house an hour north of downtown Dallas where we were.

We had them over a couple of times and gracefully tried to put more and more distance between us. Then one Saturday morning the doorbell rang. There was Jason at our door with no warning. We didn't answer knowing they would not leave until Sunday if we did. Julie's parents it turns out live not far from us. I assume that's why they were in the area, although they don't know that she's been living with him for the last 2 years or even that they are still together. I was totally freaked out by this and I don't think we spoke to either one of them until February when he showed up again unannounced. This time we were helping my mom move stuff into our house and were back and forth so there was no hiding when Kent pulled into the drive way to find him sitting there. He dragged Kent downtown (really there was no saying "no thanks" to this man) while I stayed behind because by this time I didn't even want to be around him for 5 minutes.

They ended up staying out until midnight or so then picking up Julie and all coming back here (why I never really found out). My mom was staying here because there was no more furniture at her house and we were both already asleep after a day of moving. I was woken up by Kent coming in and telling me he needed my keys to take Jason home (Kents car was still at my moms house) because he and Julie had just gotten into it and he wanted Jason as far away from Julie as possible. He didn't say much else but I could tell how urgent it was from his expression.

I got up to find Julie in my kitchen crying uncontrollably trying to ice down her very bruised if not broken hand and wrist. I don't know really what happened between them (at midnight in our front yard no less) but I know at some point Kent said Julie was hitting Jason's chest and at another point Jason tried to wrestle the keys from her hands hence the bruising. What she told me that night chilled me to the bone. She had many, many horror stories about what he had done to her. Kent ended up staying at their house with Jason that night so he wouldn't do anything else stupid (and during the night my car window was broken out by a homeless person looking for change). I ended up pleading with Julie to stay with us until she could find a place of her own to be free of him.

By the afternoon of the next day she was showing signs of softness toward Jason. We knew it would not be the end. We did all we could to get her to distance herself. Hell, her best friend is a domestic violence counselor. Julie was a strong woman in every way. It was almost impossible to imagine her in that situation to begin with.

By the next week they were back in the same apartment. Shortly after that her family contacted me to help them put together a surprise birthday party for her. That was a feat, with them not knowing about Jason, and me trying to arrange for her to get out of the house without him. She backed out in every way she knew how until finally I just had to tell her what was going on. I'm surprised he let her out at all although I did notice her outfit was carefully chosen. A week after that she called to say that Jason had been in a car accident at 2 in the morning totaling her car and that he had minor injuries. I never called her back. I felt that with Jason injured and no car they would weave their lives into ours in a way that made it impossible to break free. We were trying to have a baby, and we didn't want Jason around him or her.

I think about Julie a lot. I hope that she is taking care of herself the best way she can. I feel guilty that I couldn't do more for her. I feel guilty for breaking off contact even though it was the best thing for my family. I know it wasn't the best thing for her. I don't understand why she would keep going back to him when she has such a strong support system even without me. As I said she is a very strong woman so to see her defend him and care for him, and care about him is like watching an episode of the twilight zone.

Just about every woman I know has had a brush with either physical or sexual abuse. It's unbelievably common. When is it going to get better? When is it going to stop? When are women going to stop believing what their abusers say to them? Would that even stop the cycle?

I Just Might Get There

I just remembered a dream I had last night in which I was too big to fit through my bedroom door. I tried front ways and I tried sideways and still Kent had to push me through. I was, of course very pregnant, and in the dream I thought it was pretty funny. Now? Not so much.

Wow, Just Wow

I don't care if she's had the baby or not. I do care that this picture will not leave my brain.

Shrimp Week #22 (taken at the bed and breakfast in Padre)

Hair today, gone tomorrow? Your baby develops two kinds of hair in utero--the soft, downy body hair called lanugo, which generally falls off before or shortly after birth, and the hair on his head. Many parents are surprised (to say the least) to see their baby's hair at birth--blond couples often have black-haired offspring, dark ones are just as likely to deliver a little blond or redhead, and parents who have tight, wiry curls often produce babies with soft, loose ones. The bottom line seems to be that birth hair--or lack thereof--bears little resemblance to your child's "real" hair. The birth hair generally falls out by the time the baby is 6 months old, to be replaced by a more logical set of tresses.

Can I Go Back Now?

You know how people say that they need a vacation to recover from their vacation? Yeah, that's me. We just tried to squeeze too much into one weekend. We drove a solid 8 hours from The Mound to Corpus getting there at 10:30. Because Kent's brother was going deep sea fishing on Sunday we stopped by his house to see him before driving the last hour to Padre Island where we were staying. Keith, his brother just bought their mom's house which had been sitting empty for the last two years. For me it was hard and wonderful to see it, I can't imagine what it was like for Kent. They have done a lot with it and really made it their own. So we didn't get to the Bed and Breakfast Kent booked for us until around 1. But it was so beautiful out there we couldn't go straight to sleep. The plan was to get up at 6am to see the sunrise on the beach, but we woke up at 6am to see the lightning and rain out of our window so we slept in a bit. I have been to the beach maybe 3 times my whole life. So rain or shine I was determined to play in the water. I hear the gulf has the ugliest beaches around but they looked beautiful to me. I really didn't see much difference between that beach and the beaches in California where I spent an hour or so once.

The dauggers were so funny out there, they loved the water! Whenever I would try to go in a little ways Chloe got really anxious and tried to follow me even though Kent was right with her in the shallower part. So I didn't get a lot of wave riding time. But sitting in the water was just as nice.

It was great to spend the day with Kent's sister Genay and her husband Jim. His daughter is also pregnant and due in just a couple of weeks so we had a lot to talk about. Sunday we dug through some family photos looking for Kent's baby pictures, then drove out to visit the cemetery before leaving. We got home around 10 last night and had just enough energy to look at the pictures before we crashed. Next time we will definitely have to stay longer. I could use more beach time plus two long drives back to back like that just wear you out.

Here are the pictures if you're interested. Be prepared for gratuitous shots of dogs on the beach.

Beach Belly

We're leaving this afternoon for the beach! Kent grew up in Corpus Christi and we haven't been great about getting back there the last couple of years. In fact we haven't been back since we got married (also on the beach) almost two years ago.

It's crazy to think about how much has changed since then. This trip we'll be lugging along 2 and 1/2 extra beings. (Can't go anywhere without our girls) I LOVE the beach so it's always a special treat for me when we go.

So we'll be sunning and visiting with family for the next couple of days. Unfortunately it takes about 8 hours to drive there so we really only have Saturday. Maybe we'll get back sooner the next time!

Unfortunately There Is No Secret Handshake

Theresa asked if it was hard not to support GWB and live in Texas. The answer is, yes, a lot of the time. I live in the land of Good 'Ol Boys and they still run things around here, grooming their sons to do the same. They see GWB as one of them. I actually had a guy tell me that he was voting for Bush in part because "he worked his way up". Many, many people feel this way.

It's also bible belt country. Every Sunday most of the people in this state go to church and learn that the bible is to be taken literally. The bible says that gay people are sinners. The bible says if you don't obey the laws of Jesus you're going to burn in eternal damnation. GWB can quote the bible like the best preacher. How can you go against a leader who tells you he's born again, and God speaks through him without risking an afterlife in hell?

You learn to keep your mouth shut about politics around people you don't know well. Most of my friends and family are liberal to varying degrees. When I'm driving around and every single mini van and suv has a Bush in 04 sticker on it, I wonder how I found anyone at all who agrees with me. One of my high school friends recently told me that she felt like homosexuality is a mental illness and that women who have children should not work, in fact she questioned why a family member had even decided to have children if she was going to continue to work. These are not unusual attitudes here. Racism is also still an issue, although in my experience it has been directed almost exclusively at Mexican-Americans. I have learned to make it clear that what is being said makes me uncomfortable and remove myself from the company of those bigots. Austin is the one spot of solid blue on our red state. It's like a breath of fresh air to go there. And artistic communities are always a safe haven. I think people here are like people everywhere. They love their family, the like their safe, routine lives, and change or anything unusual or different from their little world is frightening, and therefore easily perceived as wrong. I cannot tell you the amount of shit I got for becoming a vegetarian. Complete strangers would ask me why I didn't want to eat meat. Once at Fizoli's I asked for a sandwich without meat and the woman literally stood agape for at least 30 seconds before asking me why, then rolled her eyes when I explained.

The big issues for me aren't fiscal or environmental in nature. I worry about my right to decide what's best for my body as a woman, I worry about two people who are in love and happen to be the same gender having the right to marry like the rest of us, I worry about war and haven't yet thought of a scenario in which it's a better solution than diplomacy, I worry about the perception the world has of our country and how it helps to encourage more and more hate toward us. If I had answers I would run for office. But I think one of the problems with politics in general now is that only people who crave power and/or are arrogant enough to think they have all the answers make up most of the leadership population.

No Regard For Anything That Doesn't Affect Him Directly

And people around me actually wonder why I felt so strongly about the last election.

Operation Nesting In Full Effect

This weekend was all about helping mama quench the urge to nest. Kent and I went to Ikea which has only been open for a month here. A few more fun decorations, a few million people, and a sweaty about to faint pregnant woman later we put this up. I like it so much I want one in our bedroom. We also got a coffee table with round corners instead of sharp metal ones. And duh duh du duh, paint for the kitchen! Do you know how hard it is to match to forest green counter tiles and ugly wood cabinetry? In the end we went with Washingtonian blue which believe it or not works with the green (I mean I liked forest green as much as the next person in 1992 but for kitchen counters?) I think we'll end up painting the cabinets off white. So yay progress! Too bad it's still 100 degrees here every damn day. We (and when I say we I mean Kent) can't paint until we can open some windows to ventilate and we can't open some windows until it's cool enough that I'm not in danger of getting into the refrigerator and closing myself inside of it.

This morning I got up early to go into work for a staff meeting at 9:30. When no one else was there at 9:45 I opened the calendar to find that the meeting is tomorrow at 9:30. This wouldn't be so bad if last week I hadn't driven the hour to work for a meeting at 8:30 leaving at 9 when no one was there and there was no meeting on the calendar. That day when I got home they were looking for me because the meeting was, in fact, scheduled for that morning at 9:30.

Things that I miss about not being pregnant:
Sleeping on my stomach
Drinking a beer/wine
Being able to say "whatever's fastest" when a hostess asks smoking or non
Riding a bike
Any food I might have read that I should avoid like soft cheeses
Sleeping well at night
Being able to paint the kitchen if I want to
All caffeine all the time
No one asking me "are you sure you can do that?"
Not overheating when the air is set on 75
Not peeing 5 times an hour
Taking a bath
Breathing easily at all times
Getting comfortable easily
My smaller bra size

Shrimp Week #21

By the end of this week, he'll measure about 7 inches from crown to rump and weigh nearly a pound. Not bad for a little guy who weighed barely an ounce 10 weeks ago! His hearing is developing, and sounds from your conversations can be heard inside the uterus--along with your heartbeat, stomach rumblings, and the pulsing of blood vessels. In fact, the womb is so noisy that it's been compared to an airport runway during takeoff; it's thought that the stimuli prepare the baby for the cacophony of noises, sights, and sounds that will greet him at birth.
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Also new this week, Kent can feel him kick!

Katrina

I feel like I should say something about this because it has really affected me deeply. However, I don't have any friends or family in that area and I feel like anything I might say is inadequate and redundant. So I'll just say that it's been a long week of crying. Crying for our Cola, crying for the people who are gone, crying for the people who are still waiting for our shit assed president to do enough to help, crying for the people who couldn't leave because they couldn't afford to who are now being arrested for stealing food and clothing, crying for the perception of us around the world that this helps to perpetuate, crying for a magical city that I will never be able to tour like I planned to, crying because I feel useless to help in any way. Life as we know it is so fragile, I think we all need to look around and be so thankful for what we have every single day because it can be obliterated in the blink of an eye.

La Rein Chloe

Three days ago the dauggers were rough housing as usual when one of them must have called the other one a cunt or something because all of the sudden it got serious. This has only happened once before. Chloe loves to play like that and often she will just follow Bella dog around biting at her thigh and tail waiting to get a reaction. It's really pretty funny. But this time, not so much. In the scuffle Bella dogs face got a pretty good scratch and Chloe's lower eye lid was split open a tiny bit. Neither of them acted like they were in any pain whatsoever. The next day I noticed Chloe scratching her eye lid which was tearing it more so I went and got the E-Collar you see her wearing here (it took me about 20 minutes to get her to stand still enough to take a picture which is why we have so fewer pictures of her than Bella dog). It helped all day yesterday and the lid was looking much better and still not hurting her at all. She was really good about the collar too as usual just taking everything in stride. Today the lid was looking so good I thought I'd give her a break from the collar and took it off for about 10 minutes while I watched her closely. I must have looked away for .5 seconds because she messed with it again making it look pretty irritated. Now it seems, she has found a way inside the collar and messes with it every time we look away. Even though she still doesn't seem to be in any pain, it's obviously itching like crazy. I was really trying to avoid another trip to the vet this week but I think we'll have to take her in. Anyone have any other suggestions?

Just When I Thought This Week Couldn't Get Any Worse

This happens.