AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGG

FUCK ME! I don't think I can even talk about this in any real way. There are people in this world who are so fucking dense and self centered that they can't see how it would be blaringly inappropriate to do things. How's that for vague?

Oh Internet, How I Love Thee

To think we used to live in a time when this would have gone un-photographed and not distributed for all the world to see. Kinda NSFW.

Who Needs A Title

It was a lovely Christmas in our house. Kent went overboard as usual and I got many lovely things including the most awesome present ever invented, an apple corer/peeler/slicer. I think I've eaten a barell of apples since I opened it just so I can use it it's so much fun.

We spent Christmas morning with my step-mothers family as usual. It's always very uncomfortable and I get the feeling that no one really knows what to say to the step kids (me and my brother). Luckily her sisters have started having kids of their own so we can all just watch them play. Then we went to I-HOP and home to listen to music in the Buda lounge. It was bliss.

Kent had Friday and Monday off. Usually when he has days off he uses the time to go mountain biking. He always tries to make time for me as well, don't get me wrong. It just feels different when we know he's got to be somewhere in a few hours. I think half of his brain is already on the trail or re-living the ride. But this time it was all for us. I think that was the best present.

Baby Watch Is On Bitches

The bags are packed
The stuff is washed
The car seat is installed
The boppy and various other pillows are in the car
The dogs are trained (Beta Ellis has been the perfect training tool)
The job is quit
The legs are shaved
The belly has dropped
We. Are. Ready.



p.s. yes, that's a sleeveless shirt. it's 81 degrees today. fucking southern weather.
p.p.s. my stretch marks rise like flames from below, it would be funny if it weren't so hideous.
p.p.p.s. it took me an hour to shave my legs.

Shrimp Week 37- Happy Christmas!

Week 37
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Babies come to term anywhere between 38 and 42 weeks--your 40-week due date simply marks the midpoint of this period. By the end of this week, your little one will be officially "on time" whenever he makes her entry into the world. In preparation for birth, most babies have moved into the head-down, back-facing position that's ideal for labor. However, he may be also be "sunny-side up," (head down, facing front--can often be delivered vaginally), breech (with feet or buttocks closest to the birth canal), or even lying crosswise in the uterus. If this is the case, and your doctor is unable to shift his position, you may be a candidate for a cesarean section.

Groan, Sniff, Cough (cringe), And More Groaning

I'm sick. I know exactly where it came from and I'm kicking myself for being around that person like an idiot. I think I've mentioned my propensity to get strep throat. I usually get it several times a year so it's really amazing I've been able to avoid it for the entire pregnancy. And it sucks. And I have work to wrap up. And I'm getting tired of listening to myself whine about it. I've gotten some doc approved medicine so hopefully I'll be right as rain soon. The thought of giving birth when I'm already achy and feeling like ass has me terrified. Don't go into labor, don't go into labor, don't go into labor. I'm gonna go lie down.

Shrimp Week 36 (officially month 9!!)

Week 36
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Everyone agrees that breast milk is the best possible food for your baby--even the people who make baby formula. Not only is breast milk easily digestible and rich in nutrients, it's also perfectly tailored to each individual child's needs. Having said that, it's equally important to remember that there are other options for moms who are unable to breastfeed, or who choose not to. Millions of healthy babies have been raised on bottles by millions of loving, caring moms.

The End Is In Sight, People

Updated with date of the blessed induction.

31 days you guys. And actually it's going to be sooner that that. At the doctor today we were told we could schedule an induction and I nearly fell onto the floor shaking with happiness. They need to call us back with the actual date but we're going for the week of Jan 9th. I've always assumed that I would be perfectly happy to let my child come into the world on his own time. Oh how I judged the women who scheduled the births of their children for their own convenience. Oh how I'm shamed now that I know it was more for the preservation of their sanity than a need for convenience. Soon I will know that ON JANUARY 11TH we will finally get to meet our son. Hopefully he won't make an appearance before then because the shower isn't until the 7th and we could use more baby gear! Yay for baby gear!

Anyway, if you haven't already you must go read this now. It had me crying from laughter.

We're Celebrating The Season With Blue Balls

Based on the title of this entry you might surmise that this post is about how long it's been since I've had sex. However I would like to stay married to the father of my child and would therefore never talk about something so terribly personal here without his express permission. I'll take guesses though, weeeeee!

Has anyone else noticed a serious lack of the holiday spirit this year? We keep driving around looking for neighborhoods where everyone has lights up and we have yet to find one (what else can an almost 9 month pregnant woman do at night?). Most neighborhoods only have 3 or 4 houses where people have bothered at all. We even saw one house where they had only done one side of the house (as in not the front or back but one side). I have to admit I wasn't really excited about it either until that arctic blast last week. To a Dallasite, an arctic blast means sleet, freezing rain, and maybe a little snow. It's great, the entire metroplex (Dallas, Fort Worth, and the 'burbs) freaks out and refuses to leave the house. The local news stays on all damn day (seriously, no Oprah, no nothing) to "report" on how many accidents there are and demonstrating just how cold 17 degrees is by making their reporters stand next to the freeways repeating themselves all day. This time there were 2,200 accidents in a 24 hour period. Yeah, we can't drive on that shit. There wasn't even very much accumulation only like 1/4 inch of ice on the bridges, and still we couldn't control our cars. We usually get one per season and that doesn't come until February. When I was in school I used to stay up as late as I could to watch for my school closing to scroll across the bottom of the TV. My district was always the last one to close so I never knew for sure until morning. Then I'd spend all day in my warm pj's and slippers drinking hot chocolate and reading. Now I spend my time drinking coco while making fun of the local news and the people that buy the grocery stores out of supplies to stock up for the 2 days that there will be ice on the ground.

For some reason this arctic blast ritual got me into the spirit a bit so we now have lights in our bushes and on one tree. Weee! Also, even though I'm not a very religious person it suddenly feels really cool to be so big and pregnant during the Christmas season. I keep having fantasies of going into labor on Christmas Eve.

I think I'll go pack my hospital bag just in case. Now please enjoy these photos of our version of winter weather.

Week 35

Week 35
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

He's nearly there! Most 35-week babies weigh 5 pounds or more and rarely experience major complications if born before they officially come to term. You may feel a tingling or numbness in your pelvic region as the extra weight presses on your nerves, as well as increased movement in your upper rib cage where her feet have come to rest in preparation for the head-down journey into the world. Three to four percent of full-term babies never adopt this position, but remain breech (with their heads facing up). If your baby is part of this stubborn minority, you may be at greater risk for a cesarean section. To prevent this, your caregiver may attempt to turn her from the outside using a process called "external version." He'll also do a sonogram to determine the baby's exact position before deciding whether to attempt a vaginal birth.

Holy Hormones Batman

I think that I've handled these pregnancy hormones pretty well in the past few months. In fact other than 2 incidences I can think of I've kept my wits about me entirely. I've worked really hard at recognizing when it's the hormones talking and keeping the lid on it. The past week however, things have been a bit less shall we say lidded. Things that used to make me laugh are starting to piss me off. Tonight we were at the grocery store in a mad search for faucet covers to prepare for the "arctic freeze" that all of the weather people are getting hard just talking about. Kent was walking at his normal pace which on a non-pregnant day I can have a hard time keeping up with. Tonight was especially difficult as my hip joints are determined to cripple me before this pregnancy is over. I think that steam started coming out of my facial orifices I was so annoyed. Then just as fast as it had come on, the she-devil in me was gone and I was perfectly fine.

I have a baby shower coming up in a few weeks so I was re-visiting the online registry tonight with Kent's help to make sure we had everything we wanted on there. He mentioned that we didn't have many clothes so we started looking for some. Did you know that it's impossible to find anything but short sleeved plain white onesies at Baby’s-R-Us? I almost threw the computer out the window. Then Kent casually observed that we don't really have any warm hanging-around-the-house clothes for the baby. I think I said something to the effect of "well you register for everything next time then motherfucker" then I gimped my way into the baby's room and started bawling because he was clearly going to freeze to death, while I looked for any warm clothes we might have gotten for him. Thank goodness I have a husband with enough innate kindness and common sense to come hug me and reassure me even though I'd just bitten his head off.

Also? This week I have faced reality and purchased Tucks medicated pads. I almost made it all the way through without needing them and frankly I'm pissed that it had to happen at all. It can't help that I'm not getting much good sleep. You know that pain you get in your hips when you sleep on the floor or ground when you camp? I get that every single night. In bed. It's so bad that it wakes me up and I have to turn over every 45 minutes to relieve it a bit. Around 4 every morning I've exhausted my hips so much that no amount of turning brings relief.

Up until recently I've been so happy that I was pregnant that any of these things felt like minor inconveniences. Now I'm so fed up that every little thing feels like a major challenge. I'm still happy and excited about being a mom I just don't understand why it takes being so freaking miserable to get a baby good and cooked.

Relief, Reticence And Hopefully Reward

I did it. Yesterday afternoon I gave my notice and December will by my last month to draw an income. I am at once terrified and exhilarated; excited and reticent. The moment I hit send on that email (yes I broke up with work via email) I felt the universe open up a million possibilities for me. I know how new agey that sounds but it's honestly how I felt.

I learned so much from my boss there over the last few years. He and his wife really took me under their wings. I had permission to learn from my mistakes. Lately the lessons have been much more internal. It's been clear for a while that it's time for me to move on. I hadn't done so mostly out of fear of the unknown (which is totally out of character for me by the way).

Right now my job is to prepare for the shrimps arrival. What happens after that is anyone’s guess. I'm excited to move on to the next challenge; the new lessons I'm supposed to learn in this lifetime. Today I'm working on trusting that the universe will provide an enjoyable way for me to make the extra money we'll undoubtedly need. I just need to open my eyes to all of those new possibilities. I can feel it.

Shrimp Week #34

Week 34
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Your Baby
Exactly how would you like your child to enter the world? An increasing number of parents-to-be are creating birth plans. These documents may include everything from medical preferences to environmental concerns (low lighting, soft music, and so on) during labor, delivery, and postpartum. Try to keep the plan to one page or less--busy caregivers may not have time to read it otherwise--and give copies to your doctor or midwife and to hospital or birthing center staff as well. Keep in mind, however, that medical necessity may derail some of your preferences
------------------
Miracle of miracles, I can BREATH! Of course now I have to pee every five seconds. But what a small price to pay for adequate oxygen. I've also been having some Braxton Hicks contractions here and there. Nothing so painful that I have to stop what I'm doing but pretty uncomfortable though that's for sure. Today in the mall it felt like someone was poking me with a butter knife in my lower abdomen. It made me wonder if the shrimp had snuck one in there and was already punishing me for taking him shopping. We meet with the pediatrician next week. Then the week after that begins my weekly ob/gyn appointment phase. I can't believe it's this freakin close.

Does This Mean He's Done?

Pop
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Look what happened overnight last night. No wonder I couldn't sleep.