Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Friday, July 29, 2005
Dinner Conversation
Him: Let me finish eating first.
Me: Excuse me?
Him: Well, how would you like it if I asked you to look at a boil on my butt during dinner.
Me: OK fucker, explain to me how those two things are even remotely the same?
Him: Chewing, chewing, chewing
Actually he's not far off. My lower abdomen is beginning to resemble Freddie Kreuger's face.
End of an Era
Which brings me to another concern. I've always known that if I had kids I'd want to stay home with them. I don't have any opinions about day care vs. home care or anything, I've just always known that staying home is what felt right for me. I've heard people talk about the isolation one feels, and the challenges it brings. I've pictured it and dreamed about what it might be like. But now I'm going to get a big fat taste of what it will be like to be home by myself (i.e. no adults) everyday all day long. I'm nervous about it for two reasons. One because on the couple of days a week I've been working at home, I get more excited than is cool to see Husband walk in the door at the end of the day. If he has something to do that night I get a depressed at the thought of spending the evening alone as well. I worry how this will affect me (and Husband) once the baby comes. And two because more than anything else it snaps into reality that holy shit, we're having a child very soon and it's time to start seriously preparing. What the hell am I going to do with a child all day?
The good news is I'm a homebody by nature. Maybe it won't be as difficult for me to deal with because of this. To be honest I wasn't even aware I was feeling most of these things until I started typing this entry. I know this for sure. I am so lucky to live when I do. I know that I have options. If I'm no good at staying home with my kiddo I can go back to work and no one (well no one sane anyway) will think I'm a bad person. Options are good.
Shrimp Week #16
Your little one has hiccups! An involuntary movement of the diaphragm causes these painless contractions. In adults, this movement is followed by closure of the vocal cords (making the familiar "hic" noise); because the baby's trachea is filled with fluid rather than air, fetal hiccups don't generate sound. The frequency of hiccups varies widely, with some babies experiencing several bouts a day and others never seeming to get them at all. By the sixth month, you'll be able to "see" fetal hiccups as they occur--they'll make your belly jump.
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To celebrate week number 16 my tummy added a few more stretch marks to the collection which I found this morning. To celebrate the stretch marks I ate a roll of Mentos and a bag of Tropical Skittles. Nothing but the best refined crap for my baby.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Tara Reid's Ass
It's a Veritable Treasure Trove
Week 16: Will the Botox Have to Wait?
"Is Botox use considered safe during pregnancy?"
Hoping to find the fountain of youth before you become the fountain of milk — and before those late nights with baby start showing under your eyes? Thinking of turning to (or keeping up with) Botox or other wrinkle-erasing injections during your pregnancy? Well, think twice. Since no Botox studies have been done on pregnant women, there's no way to determine the safety of this popular wrinkle-eradicator. (There have been animal studies that show an association with fetal abnormalities, but since you're not pregnant with a mouse, it's hard to extrapolate from mouse study to human.) So it's better to play it safe (and slightly wrinkled) than sorry.
Luckily, you may find yourself sporting that recently refreshed look anyway when you're expecting — without having to go eye-to-needle with a vial of Botox. That's because normal fluid retention during pregnancy puffs up your face, filling out those unwanted crow's-feet and so-called character lines, while hormonal changes can step up oil production in your skin — adding a youthful glow (and maybe, a few youthful zits). So don't worry, be happy about those laugh lines — and if you can't be happy about them, look forward to sticking it to them once the baby's arrived.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Helpful Hints
Week 15: It's Not Fat
Each week we'll send you a note to share with the dad-to-be in your life. Pass it on!
Say it again: It's not fat, it's not fat, it's not fat. FAT is a four-letter word right now, and she spends every minute of every day wondering if her body will ever return to its original shape. If you know what's good for you, you will banish the word "fat" from your vocabulary starting now. If you absolutely need to reference your wife's size, memorize this scientifically correct synonym: maternal storage tissue.
Good to know my ass isn't "fat" it's a "maternal storage tissue recepticle".
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
15 Weeks and Da Crib
This one is much more flattering and I think shows my bump a little better.
Yo Yo Shrimpy's Criiiib. I loved it because it looks so I Love Lucy or something.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Weekend Update
Sunday evening was better. We made our first big baby purchase, a crib. It's really cute and old fashioned looking. We got it from a second hand store around the corner who specializes in baby stuff. Our town is baby central so it's all still really new and great. I was just looking for a changing table but we walked out with the perfect crib. It's starting to feel more and more real.
Then we went to see Wedding Crashers (said fiancé’s birthday choice). I kept thinking, why? Why did they feel the need to remake every stupid wedding/redemption move ever and roll it into one big shit bomb? This is an actual line from the movie "Most of the people are just here to suckle from the power teet." This is not a punch line, it is delivered in all seriousness by Rachel McAdams who is this movies one freakin saving grace. She's really interesting to watch even in a movie like this where her part was one note all the way through. (my theatre arts minor is rearing its ugly head again).
p.s. After halving our pay, in the weekly meeting this morning the owner has just told us all that we are to support the hated sales guy. When I mentioned that it was a two way street, he said no, it's not, you're expected to support him no matter how he treats you. Unfuckingbelievable.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Shrimp Week #15
The body is now growing faster than the head, balancing out that brain-heavy look and making the fetus appear more baby-like. The skin is covered with lanugo, an ultrafine hair that protects it until birth. There's also hair on the baby's head, and the beginnings of tiny eyebrows. Your little one is now about 4 inches long and weighs just under 2 ounces.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Toilet Paper Fun
Toilet Paper Fun
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.
And this.
It's my fault for not putting the tp on the tp holder instead of just propping it up on top. They were so damn quiet about it too. Keep in mind we have a friend of Husbands who just moved here staying with us until he finds an apartment in Dallas. Can you say "gonna have their hands full with 5 animals and an infant?"Thursday, July 21, 2005
More Than Meets The Eye
London Calling
CanaMa
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.
CanaMa leaves for London today. The trip has been scheduled for a while and when the first attack happened a couple of weeks ago I thanked my lucky stars that she hadn't left yet. I thought, well she'll be a lot safer now with all the security. Then today happened. She'll be taking taxis exclusively, but what if that's the next target? She's there until August 2nd and I don't think I'll feel completely calm until she's home safe. Our child better have one of their grandmothers by God.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Lance Fever
Another Non Vaginal Sonogram Havin' Appointment Yay!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
I'm Afraid I'm Very Afraid
Monday, July 18, 2005
Odds and Ends
Bella the Bulldog
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.
Holy shit are there really less than 180 days until this baby comes? We'd better start shopping! This weekend I felt what I think might have been the baby moving. It was just like everyone described, a short fluttering in intervals. I suppose it's still a bit early but since the baby is 15 weeks in size I'm not ruling it out. I'm very glad CanaMa and brother were in town to experience it with me! All I've been craving lately is candy. Not chocolate mind you, but the terrible for you empty calorie kind like twizzlers. And today I discovered Mike and Ike Berry Blast which just might be the only food I eat for 179 days.
Poor Bella is sick. She woke us up at 3:30 this morning throwing up. Poor thing carried on for an hour. It really took me back to last summer when she had a reaction to some antibiotics the vet gave her and threw up almost every single night for weeks before we figured out what was causing it. But she drank some water this morning and was able to keep it down so hopefully I won't be coming home to a house full of puke.
I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory over the weekend with CanaMa and brother and LOVED it! As interesting as Johnny Depp's take on Wanka was, for me Willy will always be embodied by Gene Wilder. Still, it's a fun movie to watch and as all Tim Burton movies are, visually stunning. I really missed the old Oompa Loompa songs, but I'm sure they would be completely quaint and boring to the kids today so it's probably better that they were replaced.
OMG, my new obsession is Footballers Wives on BBC America. Because I am a total Britphile, and love gossip, I've been reading about this series in the rags for quite a while now. And it's finally jumped the pond! 10 times better than Desperate Housewives, I highly recommend everyone check it out. BTW does anyone know why the UK already has Desperate Housewives and we have to wait 2 years for their series? It drives me crazy!
I have no good way to end this totally pointless post. The End.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Shrimp Week #14
Friday, July 15, 2005
Thinking About My Job
1. Moved in with Husband Then Boyfriend (actually occurred shortly before I landed the job, but the adjustment stage was in full effect)
2. Graduated college
3. Bought my first car
4. Buried Husband The Boyfriends wonderful grandmother
5. Learned Husband Then Boyfriends mom had lung cancer (never smoked in her life)
6. Got engaged
7. Buried Husband Then Fiances mom who was too amazing to even begin to describe here
8. Got married (3 weeks later)
9. Bought a house
10. Shipped my Mom off to Canada (I had never lived more than 30 minutes away from her and saw her at least every couple of weeks)
11. Got pregnant
Through it all they have always been supportive and concerned and have cared much more about me as a person than the work that I did. Especially my boss and his wife. They're the sweet aunt and uncle I never had. (I have lots of wonderful aunts and uncles, Hi Aunt Catherine and Uncle Ron, Uncle Mike and Aunt Jodie And all the rest! But I've never lived close enough to them to sustain a really deep relationship) I'll always be thankful for my time there.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Methinks This Is A Pregnancy Milestone
*Ellis is my mom's maiden name, we'll use it as the first name for our girl or boy. Geneva was my mother in laws name. If it's a boy his middle name will be Glenn after my dad.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Hellish Day At Work
Honestly The Most Disgusting Thing I've Smelled Maybe Ever
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Tuesday Morning Elixir
Monday, July 11, 2005
On A Lighter Note?
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Shrimp Week #13: OUT OF THE DANGER ZONE!
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Yay! We rode the highway right out of that danger zone, I am so relieved. Last night Husband and I had a "date" and it took me forever to find something to wear. All of my old skirts can still zip, but sitting down is seriously constricting, and when I try to wear any of my old clothes I just end up looking extra fat instead of pregnant. Luckily in my maternity clothes you can kinda tell. I'm glad to know that our baby is bigger than her age because that explains my fast expanding tummy. I was worried that I was just eating too much. Now when I tell CanaMa I'm showing a little and she says "are you sure it wasn't that (insert food here)*" I can say YES I'm sure!
This morning as I was drying off after my shower I noticed something well, disturbing. Little starter stretch marks all along the bottom of my belly going all the way around to my hips. What the hell? Isn't it too early? I've done my share of losing and gaining weight in this life so stretch marks aren't entirely new to me. But these are different. These are PURPLE. I've never seen anything like it. I guess I'll have to come to terms with the fact that my tummy will look like a map of purple rivers by the time I give birth. I'm starting to freak out a little bit about this huge change my body is beginning. I don't think any amount of "oh, but it's so special because you're growing a baby" is going to help.
Since it's week 13 my Doc says I can have a bit of caffeine. I've been jonesing for a big glass of iced tea for 3 months, so I'm off to drown my stretch marked sorrows in one right now.
*CanaMa would NEVER say anything like that unless she were JOKING. I have the awesomest momz ever. Seriously.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
A Shrimpy Update
After filling out the paper work I was taken into an office to meet with a genetic counselor who explained what the test was looking for. This one checks for two things, Down Syndrome, and another chromosomal abnormality which only 10% of the babies survive for more than a year. Great. Good to hear. Husband and I can handle Down Syndrome, Autism, Mental Retardation, anything. We're not going to love this baby any less. Although I'd be lying if I said there wouldn't have to be some real adjustments made to our dreams for the little one. And probably a period of mourning for what might have been. But the thought of only getting to see our baby grow for a year is just unfathomable. The thought of our baby suffering physically, pains me so deeply. Going into today I was already worried because I've been sick, and it's been a couple of weeks since I saw that little heartbeat and I always get paranoid that they're not going to see one at the next visit. Then add to that the possibility of our baby suffering for the only year she's* on this Earth and lets just say I REALLY could have used my husbands shoulder to lean on.
It wasn't all terrible though. Part of the test is a sonogram (another reason Husband should have been there damn it) to measure the amount of fluid around the shrimps spine. And ladies and gentlemen for the first time I did not have to have a vaginal sonogram! Thank God, I've been waiting for this day! And whatever machine they have at this office is so sensitive that I didn't even have to have a full bladder. As the nurse rubbed the wand across my belly I mentioned to her my fear of the baby not having a heartbeat so she pushed a button and ba boom ba boom ba boom, there it was. For the first time I was able to hear it and I'm sick to death that Husband wasn't there too because it was just amazing. Shrimp was being quite uncooperative and refusing to get into the right position for them to measure her fluid so I got a nice long look. And just like her mom, shrimp is trying to grow up too fast. They say she's measuring 14 weeks already.
It's crazy, every single time I see the baby everything in this world snaps into perspective. There are times in between visits when I feel overwhelmed about work or money and I wonder how we're going to raise a child when we still feel like kids ourselves a lot of the time. But as soon as I get a glimpse of her I have absolutely zero doubts.
My tummy is starting to have a little bump to it. Not enough for strangers to know I'm pregnant but enough that Husband and I can tell. I'm really excited about that. Maybe the bigger I get the more I'll be reminded that we can handle what's coming. Here's hoping.
*We don't know the gender yet but Husband swears it's a girl. I think it's a boy but really I just say that in case it is a boy and I can say I was right, ha ha.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Manifesto
(*Yes my conformity. As much as I'm loath to admit it sometimes it's just easier to go along with the masses. That's not to say that if something I'm deeply passionate about goes against the mainstream I'll conform my opinions, not at all. But you know, the every day stuff. It's just easier sometimes.)
The online journal is a strange hybrid. It is what it's name suggests, a daily journal of one's thoughts and feelings. Yet unlike the traditional journal that gets tucked under the mattress, the blog is read by anyone. Presumably you're friends and family read it to get a quick update on your day to day life. Unless you decide to publish anonymously of course, which I don't quite get. My blog is an extension of me, and to publish anonymously I would be showing only a fraction of who I am. On the other hand there are some things that are too personal to put on a blog that you know your dad is gonna read. So to not write about those things, is that doing yourself a disservice?
The best most engaging online journals are those in which the writer is the most exposed, the most raw, the least censored. It's my suspicion that those are also the most therapeutic to write. Because that's what this really is when you get down to it. All of us who journal about our lives are they types of people who feel better once they write about things. I have always felt so at peace after spilling my guts to a page. But until this journal, I never regularly wrote. That's why this is so important to me. That's why I'm going to try my best not to censor my feelings about what's going on in my life. I will always be respectful of my friends and loved ones feelings. I will never go on a one sided rampage against anyone or use someone's name when I shouldn't. In short I will not use this journal for evil.
Hopefully one day my journals will allow my little shrimp's shrimp to really get to know me as I was never able to know my grandparents. Or perhaps more importantly they will allow the future me to connect with who I once was.
All I know for sure is that I am making a promise to myself to write honestly about what I am feeling at any particular moment in time. And I intend to keep it.
Magical
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
I'm sick
Ew, look what comes up when I google tonsils.